Jackson Free Press

Miss Doodle-Mae: "I'm proud to welcome five new members to the staff of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store. You've experienced the rigorous training and intense orientation sessions. I hope you've mastered the Four-Way-Test Customer Service class. Chief Crazy Brother's Creative Store Display and Shelf Stock orientation session is always educational. And please utilize the techniques and applications you've learned from my Anti-Store Shrinkage and Theft training.

"You may ask, ‘Why must we do so much training and orientation?' Jojo wants maintain a spirit of unity and mutual cooperation within his staff. His desire is to satisfy his customers. Jojo believes a thoroughly trained staff equals a thriving store environment that benefits all customers.

"I want to conclude this orientation session with an important reminder of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store Employee and Management Policy. Jojo understands that employees will have grievances with co-workers, store policies and management. This is why he has a weekly Open-Door/Listening-Ear Grievance Session and a quarterly Monitor-for-Progress Inspection.

"Jojo also understands how personal and professional issues and/or conflicts affect staff performance. And after reading the magazine article about the general who made some derogatory comments about the president and his staff, one thing Jojo wants his new employees to know is: ‘Loose lips sink employee, staff and management relationships.'

"Therefore, Jojo requires all new and current employees sign the ‘Keep-it-to-Yourself' Accountability Form. Remember: In the ghetto everything is everything, but at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store, everything is positive!"