Jackson Free Press

Bill "Munchie" Wilson: "Greetings, Crunchie Burga World customers. I'm Crunchie Burga World's head dietician, here to introduce you to our new fall processed-foods menu. The dietary staff and I worked very hard to provide customers processed food with a new taste.

"Let's begin with our new Crunchy Caribbean Processed Jerk-Chicken Salad—a bed of fresh lettuce topped with crunchy veggies, blackened jerk-chicken strips and spicy-sweet mango vinaigrette. One bite of the Crunchy Caribbean Jerk Chicken Salad will make you say, ‘Yeah, mon!'

"Next is the Processed Crunchy, Crunch Wrap—a blackened, toasted tortilla wrapped with lettuce, diced tomatoes, and your choice of processed beef or chicken. Make your wrap tasty by adding some salad dressing, like ranch, Italian, or our new ‘Asian Sookie, Sookie Soy Sauce' vinaigrette. The Processed Crunchy, Crunch Wrap is a crunchy, quick meal for people on the go.

"The dietary staff decided to introduce customers to a taste of New Orleans with our new Who Dat Crispy, Blackened Fish Po Boy combo meal. Imagine sinking your teeth into a crunchy, spicy piece of processed fish. The meal comes with a side order of crunchie coleslaw, crispy fries and a medium soft drink with crunchie ice. This meal will make you smack your lips instead of ‘yo' momma'.

"And the kids will love our tasty, chewy, crunchy processed blackened-chicken nuggets. Are the nuggets made with processed chicken? You decide.

"In the meantime, make your world a Crunchie Burga World."