Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcer: "On this episode of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' psychologist Judy McBride counsels a recently laid-off worker who is close to the edge and trying not to lose his head."

Judy McBride: "Theodore 'The Loose Booty Disco King' Johnson, why are you here? Two years ago, you raved about your 22 years of job security with benefits. I remember those days when you burned up the dance floor, thrilled the young ladies and made the guys jealous. Then you settled down when you got a good job with that company and went into obscurity."

Theodore Johnson: "I'm depressed, angry and scared because that company laid me off a week ago. What am I going to do about the mortgage, medical bills, utilities, car payments, etc. And my wife is tired of me wetting the bed."

Judy McBride: "Is stress causing your incontinence?"

Theodore Johnson: "It's the pressure of being unemployed in this slow economy that makes me weep, wail and cry uncontrollably at night. That's why I wet the bed. The stress of bill collectors ringing my phone and scaring my wife when I'm not home gives me a mid-ranged migraine. I think I'm going insane, and I might just hijack a plane."

Judy McBride: "Sometimes events in life force you to make adjustments, just like that company did when it laid you off. It's time for you to loosen those screws. Rise up and move forward. Hijacking a plane won't help you."