Jackson Free Press

Big Roscoe: "At Clubb Chicken Wing, a lot of my unemployed customers have jumped on the gripe, moan and complain bandwagon. The vibe here is so sullen that it's affecting my staff and other customers. I really empathize with those who have been laid off, but I can't tolerate this aura of gloom, despair and agony at my club.

"Clubb Chicken Wing is a place where people come to forget about their troubles and worries, not a place to sit around and mope. It's time to lift the morale and confidence of the Ghetto Science community. I want Clubb Chicken Wing to live up to its motto: Chill with the 'peoples' at Clubb Chicken Wing, where the party is jumpin' and the grease is poppin'.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce Clubb Chicken Wing's Weekly Hump Day Job Network Session and Disco. Every Wednesday night, the hopeless will become hopeful with the Back Room Resume Writing Workshop and Job Counseling Rap Session.

"Lady 'Fancy' McBride will provide dress-for-success, hygiene and grooming tips for job seekers who want to look good and get a job.

"Sharpen your computer literacy and social networking skills with IT guru, Aunt Tee Tee Hustle.

"Closing out the evening is the Hump Day Disco, featuring the Battle of the Unemployed Deejays.

"And don't forget the extended Hot Wing Happy Hour. Remember: Hot Wings are free for unemployed workers who show their severance-pay check stubs to Little Momma Roscoe at the door."