Ten years ago, my world was forever changed when my ex-boyfriend decided if I didn't want to be with him, he would teach me a lesson by coming to my house, beating me and sexually assaulting me. That was the worst day of my life. Watching the police do nothing and letting this guy walk away from the scene of the crime because it was my fault for letting him in my home didn't console me. Had it not been for my neighbors saving me from this horrific event, I wouldn't be here today (Silky, Malcolm Ex, the Sabins—thank you. I'll forever be grateful for you rescuing me.)
One night, my neighbors forced me to Hal & Mal's to see this so-called country band Buffalo Nickel perform. Despite having PTSD from the assault, I went, and I'm glad I did. Something about their awesome chick singer, the late great Emily Graham, singing songs about heartbreak and redemption from a woman's point of view, made me cheer up, knowing that at least someone got what I was going through. I immediately became a fan and attended every Buffalo Nickel show because their songs spoke to me in a way that made me feel—well, safe.
The guys in the band were so friendly and took me in as one of their own. I bought every CD they made, often buying multiple copies because I'd worn out the other ones. Their music, their words, their sweethearts, everything they did, seemed to heal me in a way that no other abuse counselor or preacher could. I still find myself from time to time listening to their CDs and remembering where I was in my fragile state of mind when hearing those songs for the first time. It also reminded me of just how far I've come from those days of fearing that another attack would happen, the healing process from the physical and emotional abuse I endured for almost two years, and how much tougher the assault has made me over the years.
Had it not been for this band, I know I would have healed in some way, but I really think had it not been for the power of Buffalo Nickel's music, I would surely still be hurting and trying to comfort myself in ways that may have been unhealthy.
If you've wondered why I put up my dukes when I feel I'm being put in a corner, now you know. So to my Buffalo Nickel'ers—Brad and Chris Clark, Steve Deaton, Emily Graham and Clinton Kirby—I want to say thank you. Thank you for sharing your music with me at a time in my life when I was so broken and beaten, I didn't think I would ever recover. Thank you for giving this Bogue Chitto girl a chance to sing a song or two and making me feel validated, and not like some "piece of trash that no one will want" like my ex repeatedly told me. Thank you for sharing your wonderful songs that literally saved me.
The JFP Chick Ball begins at 6 p.m. this Saturday at Hal & Mal's. I cannot reiterate how important and dear this event is to me. Did you know that I was the first-ever chick to perform at the very first Chick Ball in 2005? This year's performers are Clinton and I, Pam Confer and Jazz Beautiful, the Singing River Trio (Laurel Isbister, Valley Gordon and Melody Moody), Calico Panache, Lisa Palmer, Keisha Pratt and Time to Move. It's not too late to make a donation, so please email [email protected] if you'd like to volunteer your time, make a donation of gifts or money, anything to help the Center for Violence Prevention. Thank you for your support, and if you see me out, please say hello!
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