Jackson Free Press

Judy McBride: "Over the past two years, I've noticed more people coming to my office in need of psychological counseling. Folks are just stressed out over the economy, jobs, unemployment and education. Frustrated commuters are freaking out while riding public transportation.

"The demand for my service was just too much. As a dedicated, committed and concerned community psychologist, I had to create a more practical way to serve my community. So, I started the "Judy McBride Mass Patient Stress-Reduction Clinic."

"'Lady Fancy' McBride (my third cousin, and health and fitness guru) and D.J. Old School Pete will conduct the mass patient stress reduction clinic. They will require patients to read books and to attend reading and critical-thinking discussions, followed by diet and exercise seminars. Then, Lady Fancy will use her sweet personality, positive affirmations and deep breathing exercises to calm your frazzled nerves.

"The stress reduction clinic will show you how to get away from the hustling crowds and all that rat-race noise down in the street. And when mean, old nasty attitude people around you are giving you pressure, you'll enjoy D.J. Old School Pete's message music and meditation sessions.

"The Mass Patient Stress-Reduction Clinic takes place daily, one hour before the 'Hot Wing Happy Hour' at the Clubb Chicken Wing Multi-Purpose Complex.

"Don't allow the troubles of this world to ruin your peace of mind. All you need is a comfortable exercise mat or your favorite blanket, and your imagination.

"Forget the mess and reduce stress."