Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by members of the Ghetto Science Team: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall; Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, renegade documentary filmmaker; Kunta 'Rasheed X' Toby; and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

Dudley: "The dispatcher called us to investigate a disturbance at the Cootie Creek County Line Movie Theater. Folks from the Ghetto Science Community want their money back because the movie theater showed Meen O. Whitman's offensive campaign ad for sheriff of Cootie Creek County."

Cootie: "I saw the ad yesterday on the 'Qweesha Live' special called 'Breakdown of Offensive Television Ad Propaganda.' It put the Ghetto Science Community in a bad light."

Kunta: "It reminds me of the Willie Horton political ad from 1988. And the new sheriff promised to stop the 'savages' from crossing the Cootie Creek County line."

Dudley: "In my humble opinion, people should not support places, areas or events where they are not welcome."

Cootie: "I agree, Dudley. I would definitely demand my money back from that movie theater, especially after seeing a political ad labeling me a violent savage. And isn't it funny how folk on the other side of the county line blatantly deny their own crime issues?"

Dudley: "Kunta, are you filming this investigation?"

Kunta: "Yeah. Look out for these scenes on my new cable-television-reality-show series called 'The Real Law 'n' Order in an S.U.V.'"

Doink, doink.