Big Roscoe: "Black Friday at the Walmart, people choking and in tears, after some woman filled the air with pepper spray. Silver bells, silver bells—that's Christmas shopping in America. While some folk have the money to buy discounted X-Boxes, flat-screen televisions and other stuff, a lot of folk can't afford to buy their way out of trouble. Even during the holidays, bill collectors will call the unemployed worker's soon-to-be-disconnected phone and scare his wife when he's not home.
"Nevertheless, the Clubb Chicken Wing staff, Lil' Momma Roscoe and I promise to make this holiday season bearable instead of burdensome. So, to all of you dealing with tough times, Clubb Chicken Wing is happy to present 'Forget Your Unemployed, Foreclosed and Repossessed Troubles Christmas.'
"Every Friday in December, Clubb Chicken Wing will open its doors to serve the people who cannot afford a merry Christmas. Jojo's Discount Dollar Store has donated toys for the tots and gifts for the adults. Ernest 'Monday Night Football Head' Walker of Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket will provide plenty of Christmas groceries. Rudy McBride of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank will help you pay your rent, cell phone, electricity, water, heat, gas, cable television and Internet bills with extra money from the 'Ghetto Stimulus Surplus Christmas Fund'.
"Let the Clubb Chicken Wing Staff bring a little joy into your unemployed, foreclosed and repossessed world this Christmas holiday season. The 'new poor' (aka middle class) are welcome, too. Happy Holidays."
More like this story
More stories by this author
Support our reporting -- Follow the MFP.
