Jackson Free Press

Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo, our fearless leader, is such a shrewd business person. He keeps up with the latest business trends and provides more employment opportunities through creative innovation. For example, instead of laying off people, cutting back on services and raising prices, Jojo decided to promote senior employees and provide more part-time and full-time jobs for many of the unemployed members of the Ghetto Science Community.

"Today, I'm proud to announce my new position as assistant store manager at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store. My promotion from head cashier and part-time security guard will provide openings for two new jobs. Jojo also promoted Chief Crazy Brotha to store operations manager. Now, Jojo's Discount Dollar Store has a job opening for a manager of the Arts and Crafts section at aisle 7 ½. It's a new day for the Jojo's Discount Dollar Store staff, because they have just experienced positive and creative corporate restructuring.

"But wait, there's more. Jojo needs a couple of computer-savvy people to develop and manage his 'Online Discount Dollar Store' business. Also, Jojo wants to hire more security personnel, especially those individuals who completed Officer 'Beatdown' Lipscomb's three-week security training course. And, finally, Jojo's Discount Dollar Store has part-time job openings for stock clerks and store custodians.

"The massive hirings will not affect the prices at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store. Jojo hopes that his positive and creative corporate restructuring will inspire hope and confidence in the spirits of today's extremely financially challenged consumers."