Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "On this edition of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' two Y'all Mart employees stumble upon a secret supervisors' meeting in the second, alternate Y'all Mart employee break room."

Y'all Mart Supervisor: "The purpose of this secret meeting is to inform and alert all supervisors about our government's automatic $85 billion in spending cuts slated to take effect March 1 unless Congress reaches a deal. The politicians, economist and news media pundits call it 'sequestration.' From what I have heard, sequestration (aka budget cuts) could have a whole lot of our financially challenged Y'all Mart customers and employees under water. Poor consumers will sing the cutback blues and stop shopping at Y'all Mart. These spending cuts will launch an economic virus affecting health care, education, unemployment insurance, food stamps and maybe some jobs at Y'all Mart. All I can say about this upcoming dilemma is that the decisions of elected politicians will determine the fate of average American citizens. And if this deal goes down, crime, sickness, homelessness, economic distress, foolishness and more mess will rise up.

"Attention, Y'all Mart supervisors: It's time to inform the rest of the employees about sequestration."

Y'all Mart Employee #2: "Did you record that speech on your Aunt Tee Tee Hustle Refurbished Ghetto Tone Smart Phone?"

Y'all Mart Employee #1: "Everything from the rooter to the tooter. I've already uploaded the video and sent it to our co-workers. Like Biggie Smalls said, 'If they don't know, now they know.'"