Jackson Free Press

"Welcome to a new winter/spring semester at Hair Did University Schools of Cosmetology and Vocational Studies. The university's objective for 2013 is to enhance the lives of the disenfranchised masses through critical thinking and quality vocational education.

"The faculty and staff at Hair Did University are committed to teaching students how to navigate around a system of spiritual and economic oppression. This is the year for teachers to implement and execute a non-traditional method of instructing students. At Hair Did University, over-crowded classes will transform into large think tanks. Students will be required to take arts, humanities, history and political science classes.

"As dean of students of Hair Did University, I will dedicate my time and effort to develop well-informed and educated graduates capable of critical thinking. I plan to achieve my goal with help from concerned members of the Ghetto Science Community Education Board.

"So students, get ready for a different approach toward your education. I hired Chief Crazy Brotha of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store to teach part-time classes in creative store-operations management and theatrical arts. Kunta 'Rahseed X' Toby, filmmaker and multi-media artisan, will be your journalism, radio and television production instructor, as well as head of Hair Did University's Mass Communications and Marketing Department. I'm also honored to have Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride teach political science, history and economics.

"Remember: Classes begin in February. And I hope to see you at H.D.U.—Hair Did University."