I know the last week must have been hard on you. Thankfully, the American 24-hour news cycle takes away the sting pretty quickly. Fortunately, for the rest of us, weekly newspapers exist, places where we get a chance to "sit on it a bit." I'll always have my first reactions--anger, the presentation of actual "science" and my personal favorites, derision and gnashing of teeth. I took part in some of them myself when you expressed your opinion concerning the "downfall of education" in this country on a national television show and blamed me. Well, not me personally but "working mothers"--something that I happen to be. Roughly 59 percent of married women with children happen to be working mothers--if you read Census data analyzed by the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Women everywhere became furious. After all, historically, mothers went to work in response to a lack of men in the workforce during World War II. The country needed workers, so they worked. This country has to run, and peoples' families have to eat, right?
These days, unfortunately, making ends meet often means two working parents. My mother happened to be a working mom, but instead of deriding you for your obvious lack of knowledge regarding the women's movement in this country, I'm going to tell you a story--with only small amounts of contempt.
In 1969, in the Mississippi Delta, my mother was a bright 16-year-old who had graduated early from high school. She entered Delta State University and went on to earn two degrees in three years. Sounds like a wonderful affirmation of women's rights, eh?
Well, it is. But the journey wasn't exactly that easy. My grandfather did not believe that girls "needed to go to college." (Have you talked to my Papaw? I bet y'all would get along.) Papaw believed that sending my mother--who, by all accounts, was amazingly bright and ambitious--to college was not worth it. She obviously would waste that education after she got married and produced the required amount of offspring for a Good Italian Catholic Girl--somewhere in the area of 5-16 children, depending on who you ask.
Mamaw seriously disagreed with Papaw. While she worked on Papaw, my mother just worked. She lived at home and took double the amount of required class hours per semester. She graduated with a 4.0 GPA. In 1973--40 years ago in the Mississippi Delta--at age 19, my mother had bachelor degrees in chemistry and biology. She married and was soon pregnant with the first of two children. She also worked at a pharmaceutical company.
After her marriage fell apart, it was her work history that allowed my mother to provide a home for my brother and me. She fed and educated us. Her education permitted her to work at a job that fully supported us--with no state aid.
Education was an important goal in our family. I remember one of her repeating themes: "Your job is to go to school and educate yourself. My job is to support you in that." To my mother, education meant the most precious of things: freedom. It was a lesson I learned well. I am the larger wage earner in my own marriage, mainly due to the education my working mother pushed me to get.
And now I am a working mother to a beautiful 3-year-old girl. She's smart as a whip and, if the Republicans stay in charge, I should be able to put her to work next year! I spend a lot of time attempting to decide how to educate her appropriately. I'll tell you one thing, though: If I were home more, it wouldn't do a lick for her education. Being around my child for extra-long periods of time makes me twitch.
Surprised? I know it must be hard to hear from a woman that being with her child 24 hours a day is not something she necessarily wants to do.
At the end of my eight-week maternity leave, I bounded back to work while my newborn rocked safely in the arms of her grandmother--just as I rocked in Mamaw's arms when my mother worked. But it wouldn't have mattered if it was day care--because I went to that, too. I still turned out OK. In fact, I think we can agree that I may have turned out significantly better than you. After all, I didn't insult the majority of American moms on national television. Also, I know when I should stop with the hairspray.
Lastly, if you'd like women to stay at home more, maybe you should stop saying stupid things. I've been away from my family and child more since you've began seeking office than any time preceding it. My kid, and the future of education in this state, would really like it if you took it to the house and sat down. Maybe then I could throw away the permanent protest signs I carry around in my trunk and stay home with my family just a little bit more.
Bless it,
Lori
P.S. The hairspray thing wasn't a joke.
Lori Gregory-Garrott, LMSW, is director of Hope Haven Adolescent Crisis Center operating in south Jackson for the past 16 years.
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