Jackson Free Press

Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo and members of the Ghetto Science Economic Survival Commission want to help financially challenged customers deal with the sequestration budget cuts. The plan is to transform isle 7-1/2 of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store into a consumer-education and empowerment center. Chief Crazy Brother, creative display coordinator and alternate customer service representative, is very excited about this plan. He has already booked some notable economic and lifestyle experts to participate as special guest speakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Ghetto Science Community, Jojo's Discount Dollar Store's Consumer-Education and Empowerment Center presents the 'Shop Until You Survive the Sequestration' guest-speaker series.

"The guest-speaker series begins with words of economic and spiritual encouragement from Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride and Sister Encouragement of the Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church radio show. Brother Hustle will conduct a special Compensatory Investment Request Town-Hall Meeting. Chef Fat Meat, co-author of the 'Poor People's Dietary Manual', will hold a 'Sequestration Hunger Prevention Seminar.' Nurse 'Tootie' McBride and CNAs for a Brighter Day will provide free health-care advice and blood-pressure screenings. And Pookie Peterz, Ghetto Science Team economist and consumer advocate, will develop every shopper's critical thinking skills with his 'Don't Let the Politicians and Corporations Keep You Down Sequestration Survival Seminar.'

"Become an empowered and critically thinking shopper at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store, where sequestration will not result in a consumer's economic castration.

"Get ready for the 'Shop Until You Survive the Sequestration' guest-speaker series."