Jackson Free Press

Rudy McBride: "Greetings to potential, new and existing customers of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank. Last week, I had an interesting conversation with Harris 'Stotle' Jenkins, resident philosopher of the Ghetto Science Team Think Tank.

After I approved his $50 L.M.H.F.D Financial Crisis Loan, he shared this interesting thought: The financial, physical, spiritual and emotional condition of the common people is a reflection of a crisis-ridden word.

"Harris 'Stotle' Jenkins' deep, philosophical statement inspired me to create a way to help people in crisis. Starting next week, the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank will conduct a random act of kindness for each customer's financial crisis with the $50 Financial Crisis Loan.

"The 'Random Act of Kindness During Financial Crisis Loan' will help an under-paid wage earner with some cash to purchase fuel for his or her gas-guzzling hoopty. When a mother is short on money to pay for her child's day care, the 'Instant Random Act Loan' will come to the rescue. And pay that utility bill with a 'Just in Time Random Act Loan' from your friendly L.M.H.F.D.

"Also, Harris 'Stotle' Jenkins expressed another profound sentiment: When the money is right, your burdens are light. I totally agree with Mr. Jenkins.

"With that said, here's to creating a new world that reflects compassion instead of crisis.

"And remember our new L.M.H.F.D. slogan: We'll let you hold five dollars, but you got to pay us back when you can."