Jackson Free Press

Miss Doodle Mae: "The staff of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store are very nervous, anxious and stressed out because the Internet, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, television, radio, newspapers and magazines constantly report about wars and rumors of wars from the Gaza Strip to Ferguson, Mo. All around the world, it's the same ol' song of violence, retaliation, anger, oppression, corruption, lies, propaganda and cover-ups.

"Tensions are high at today's special staff meeting. Jojo, our fearless leader, has a pleasant surprise. He invited Congressman Smokey 'Robinson' McBride to encourage his worried staff."

Congressman McBride: "Black males and families, I feel your concern about what's happening in the world and urban America. Several staff members have asked me, 'Will our Ghetto Science Community become like Ferguson, Mo?'

"My answer is: As long as the Ghetto Science Team and Community continue to be self-subsistent, banker Rudy McBride will provide financially challenged citizens a Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank Loan. Businesses like Clubb Chicken Wing, Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket and Chef Fat Meat's Fine Dining will offer customers nice places to eat, meet, hang out and buy groceries.

"Hair Did University School of Cosmetology and Vocational Studies will provide valuable career training. Security and transportation will come from folk like Rev. Cletus, Double Dutch Church Bus driver and Inspector 'Beatdown' Lipscomb, minister of safety and defense.

"As long as the Ghetto Science Community remains self-sufficient and determined, everything will be everything, safe, secure, all right and a dollar at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store."