Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

Cootie: Dudley, get the Law-N-Order S.U.V. ready. We've been assigned to maintain law and order at the Stop the Ham-hocks, Decrease the Pork Grease Pork Product Buy Back Rally at the Funky Ghetto Mall.

Dudley: Is this rally organized by the Stop the Ham-hocks, Decrease the Pork Grease Anti-Violence Coalition?

Cootie: Yes.

Dudley: So, this rally is like a gun-buyback campaign?

Cootie: Yep. The Stop the Ham-hocks, Decrease the Pork Grease Anti-Violence Coalition believes that heavy consumption of pork products causes high blood pressure, which results in violent reactions, such as an assault with a weapon. Their slogan is: If you stop eating the pig, you won't shoot the gun or commit a violent act.

Dudley: What will folks get in exchange for their ham hocks, pork chops, pork skins, pork rinds, ham, barbeque ribs, pork roast, etc?

Cootie: The people will receive a free Ghetto Ringtone Smart Phone, refurbished Aunt Tee Tee Wi-Fi Tablet or a small money loan voucher from the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank.

Dudley: Do you think this event will help curb violence?

Cootie: I hope so.

Dudley: We shall see when we get to the rally.

Doink, doink!