Mister Ice Creamy Man: "Mrs. Ice Creamy Lady and I attended a very productive Ghetto Science Team Small Business and Mobile Vendor's Association Meeting today. The main purpose of the meeting was to inform us about the disturbing trend of businesses refusing service to someone because of appearance, odor, lifestyle or attitude.
"Cootie McBride, the People's Lawyer, led the meeting and made sure all small-business people and mobile vendors clearly understood the Federal Civil Rights Act, which guarantees all people the right to 'full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages and accommodations of any place of public accommodation, without discrimination or segregation on the ground of race, color, religion or national origin.'
"Also, Cootie made his message clearer when he briefly explained the California's Unruh Civil Rights Act from the 1960s. This act said that businesses could not discriminate against hippies, police officers, homosexuals, disabled people, political activists, Democrats or Republicans, solely because of who they were.
"Cootie encouraged members of the Ghetto Science Team Small Business and Mobile Vendor's Association to simply treat all customers with dignity and respect.
"This summer, Mrs. Ice Creamy Lady and I are committed to serve everyone new and delicious treats such as our soft-serve vanilla ice creamy cones, sugar-free Bomb-Popsicles, Sunday thru Saturday Sundaes, and the Banana Pudding Split. Just look for the Mister Ice Creamy Man truck and listen for the One-Ringy-Dingy bell.
"Remember: No matter who you are, you will be served."