Jackson Free Press

Dear United States Secret Service:

I am Brother Hustle writing on behalf of Chief Inspector, Lieutenant-Colonel  "Beat Down" Lipscomb, Ghetto Science Team Security Specialist. As a proud American and former military police officer, he is very concerned about President Obama's security. Ever since 2009, when a married couple passed through two security checkpoints, entered the White House complex and crashed the president's U.S. State Dinner Party, Chief Inspector "Beat Down" Lipscomb has noted other lapses in security.

About a month ago, someone with a machine gun fired shots at the White House, an intruder wielding a knife jumped the fence to pay someone a visit, and an armed security officer with a criminal record boarded an elevator with the president and took photographs.

The point is: Chief Inspector, Lieutenant-Colonel  "Beat Down" Lipscomb of the Ghetto Science Team Security Task Force wants to help the United States Secret Service protect America's 
commander in chief.

Inspector "Beat Down" Lipscomb has a variety of qualified security agents ready to fill in the gaps. He has trained the Ladies in Church Hats Purse and Pocketbook Security Beat Down Patrol to guard against all intruders. His "Mean Old Strike and Attack Deputy Dawgs" are quite capable of securing perimeter areas of the White House. The Big Deacons for Self Defense are skilled security officers with martial arts and combat weapons training. For presidential motorcades, he has a bulletproof hybrid hoopty limousine on stand by.

Inspector Lipscomb and I hope you consider this offer.

Sincerely, Brother Hustle