Jackson Free Press

"This has to be the biggest weekend of football for both schools I can remember. If I could find a helicopter to get me to both games, I might do it, but even a former governor can't pull that one off."

—Former Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour on a huge football weekend in which Ole Miss and Mississippi State both competed and won.

Why it stinks: It would be different if the former Republican governor had said the laws of physics precluded him from being in two states (Mississippi and Texas) at the same time. But, when you get down to it, if anyone in Mississippi could procure a helicopter on short notice, it's one of the most powerful and best-paid lobbyists in Washington, D.C.

Of course, the comment about the football games was off-handed and in fun, but it's also part and parcel of Barbour's annoying coquettishness. This false humility leads him to wag his finger at the right flank of his Republican Party for some of its backward positions on immigration and women's rights, all the while throwing his hands up as if he's powerless to change stubborn hearts and minds in his party. The truth is, Barbour has more power than he likes to let on, and it's time he start putting it to good use—at least for non-aircraft-related purposes.