Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I, and guest rookie peace officer Brother Hustle. This is their story."

Dudley McBride: "This long, hot summer of 2014 continues for us, fellas. Our dispatcher called for us to maintain the peace at an Electric Slide and Minimum Raise Protest Rally at Crunchie Burga World. It looks like things might escalate like neck bones in a pressure cooker. Crunchie Burga World Corporate Office has already ordered the militarized Cootie Creek County Police Department to deal with the protesters."

Cootie McBride: "We need to be there before an uprising ensues.  It looks like today will be a training day for rookie officer Brother Hustle."

Dudley McBride: "Uprising? Don't you mean riot, Cootie?"   Brother Hustle: "Cootie used the correct word: 'uprising.' The protesters are executing an act of resistance against Crunchie Burga World's current minimum-wage policy."

Cootie McBride: "What's happening at Crunchie Burga World is similar to the 1968 sanitation workers' strike in Memphis, Tenn. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and the Poor People's Campaign organized it."

Dudley McBride: "All semantics aside, we need to keep the peace at this organized rebellion before something unfortunate happens—like a riot. The Law-N-Order SUV is ready to go."

"Doink, doink!"