Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride; attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I; and guest rookie peace officer D.J. Itch Got To Scratch. This is their story."

(Cootie, Dudley, and D.J. Itch patrol the Ghetto Science Community in the Law-N-Order S.U.V. while listening to D.J. Itch's Message Music Mix Tape.)

D.J. Itch: "Cootie and Dudley, why are we patrolling this community?  You don't believe the local police can patrol this community effectively?"

Cootie: "Right now, our purpose is to maintain peace, law and order. We do this deed because we respect the citizens who live and work in this community."

Dudley: "The people in this community appreciate our peacekeeping efforts."

Cootie: "We are watch-persons who make sure local law enforcement officers properly interact with members of the Ghetto Science Community."

Dudley: "We also help community members avoid confrontation with the police."

D.J. Itch: "So, we are to protect the people from getting in trouble with people who are supposed to protect the people."

Dudley: "Yes, we are the peacekeepers, my friend."

Cootie: "In the meantime, let's listen to D.J. Itch's Mix tape featuring the 'Marvin Gaye Inner City Blues Message Mix.'"

(Eight gunshots are heard.)

D.J. Itch: "I think someone has been shot in the back."

Dudley: "Here we go again."

Doink, doink!