Jackson Free Press

Breaking up with someone sucks. I have no doubt about that. It's even worse when you've been with the same person for five years and, one day, he decides he needs to go find himself. It can leave you feeling like an asteroid went straight through you and left a gaping hole. You're alive, but barely.

After my breakup, I quickly realized something: I'm a single adult. It's an obvious statement, but for me, it made all the difference. I spent most of my teenage years single, mainly because I just couldn't handle myself around potential significant others. But for half of my 20s, I was with one person. So now, at 25, I'm essentially trying to reinvent myself—and also finding ways to occupy my time.

Up until a year ago, I complained that there is nothing to do in the Jackson area. What I've discovered, though, is that there is a lot more to do than I thought, especially since I'm single. If you've found yourself part of a breakup, don't fret. Jackson can keep you occupied.

Here are a few ways to get over a breakup in a city.

Go to a bar.

Drinking alone may sound boring and even counter-intuitive, but think about it: You get to sit at a bar and be by yourself, but also be around people without the hassle of someone constantly yapping in your ear. Bars are perfect for people-watching. And if you want spend your single life actually doing something amazing, bars are a great place for coming with new ideas. Some of Jackson's best choices are Saltine Oyster Bar (622 Duling Ave., Suite 201, 601-982-2899, saltinerestaurant.com), Babalu Tacos & Tapas (622 Duling Ave., 601-366-5757, babalutacos.com), Underground 119 (119 S. President St., 601-352-2322, underground119.com) and Hal & Mal's (200 S. Commerce St., 601-948-0888, halandmals.com). Babalu has happy hour Monday through Friday from 4 to 6 p.m., with $1 off draft beers and $4 sangrias. At Babalu's Taco Tuesday, all tacos are $2 tacos, while Saltine has an oyster special on Mondays. For an eventful evening, Hal & Mal's has pub quizzes, concerts and karaoke throughout the month, and Underground 119 has new music every Tuesday through Saturday night, along with plenty of food and drink specials to occupy you during each musical act.

Go to a museum.

In general, museums are pretty cheap and allow you to learn new things. If you're feeling social, tag along with family or friends to the Mississippi Children's Museum (2145 Museum Blvd., 601-981-5469, mississippichildrensmuseum.com) when they go. Visit the alligator snapping turtle at the Mississippi Museum of Natural Science (2148 Riverside Dr., 601-354-7303, museum.mdwfp.com) or see some cool artwork at the Mississippi Museum of Art (380 S. Lamar St., 601-960-1515, msmuseumart.org). For those short on cash and big on free time, the exhibit at the front of the art museum, "A Mississippi Story," is free.

Go walking by a body of water.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I get really tired of hearing myself think. When I need to clear my head a little bit, I like to find a walking track near water. It calms me down, and it's also a great way to comb through any grand ideas.

Go see a movie.

Contrary to popular belief, going to a movie by yourself is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. You won't fight over the snacks you'll get or listen to somebody talk to you while the movie is going on. (This is also helpful if you're the chatty one.) You get to enjoy the movie without feeling like it's a bust if someone else didn't enjoy it.

Go shopping.

Do you know the best part of shopping on your own? You don't have to listen to anyone else's opinions. When you're trying on clothes, it's all about you and what you want. If you don't have money for major retail therapy, try some thrift shopping at places stores such as N.U.T.S. (114 Millsaps Ave., 601-355-7458; 3011 N. State St., 601-366-9633, goodsamaritan.org,), Orange Peel (422 Mitchell Ave., 601-364-9977, visitfondren.com/theorangepeel) or Repeat Street (242 Highway 51, Ridgeland, 601-605-9123). They each have a wide selection of items and can help you if you've decided to revamp your look.

Treat yourself to a nice dinner.

Whether you're going alone or with friends, make sure to give yourself plenty of chances to just relax and have fun. Eat things you wouldn't around your ex. My favorite restaurants are Burgers & Blues (1060 E. County Line Road, Suite 22, Ridgeland, 601-899-0038; 960 N. State St., 601-709-5171, burgersblues.com) and Broad Street Baking Company (4465 Interstate 55 N., Suite 101, 601-362-2900, broadstbakery.com).

Find a sport.

I've been fencing for about a year, and for the few months before Jon and I broke up, I had been losing interest in it. When we broke up, I threw myself back in. The beauty of sports is that they help you regain your confidence (I feel absolutely unstoppable when I fence) and the fact that I'm hitting stuff helps. I'm not saying to go out and play football (though if you want to, more power to you), but find something physical to occupy yourself with.

My next objective in my apparent quest is to learn archery and kickboxing. It's not hard to find classes and people who can help you with this. Along with the Mississippi Fencing Club, which meets at the Baptist Healthplex on Thursdays and Saturdays, find an archery class or take up a martial art.

Do the things you want to do.

I didn't notice how many things I felt I wasn't able to do when I was with Jon until I stepped back. I always said I would do things such as archery, but I never followed through because I was so focused on the relationship. Now, I have time to do some of those things, including baking and getting back into art. Make time to follow your heart. As Jill Conner Browne said at TEDx Jackson, "Do the thing that makes your heart sing."

Change your look.

Whenever something drastic happens to me, my first reaction in the aftermath is to change my look. A week after we broke up, I went to my friend Jamie and asked her to cut and dye my hair. I briefly considered permanently straightening my naturally curly hair, but decided to do it the old-fashioned way because my hair is too thin for major chemicals. I did something I haven't done in probably a year: I put on makeup, and I discovered that I'm not half bad at it. I even wore black eyeliner, though I had some issues with it on my sister's 21st birthday weekend. I went shopping and bought a floral-patterned skirt that I would normally never buy. I finally bought the high-top Chuck Taylors I've been wanting.

Take a spa day.

It's hard to relax when you feel like your entire life is spiraling out of control (and for a brief period of time, you'll probably feel like it is). But when the crossfire stops (or even before then), take a day to pamper yourself. Go for a massage, facial or mani-pedi at spas such as Aqua The Day Spa (1000 Highland Colony Pkwy., Ridgeland, 601-898-9123).

Take a mini vacation.

Even if you're just vacationing in the city, it's nice to have a break from work and everything else in your life. See Jackson with a tourist's eyes. Go to a concert at local venues such as Duling Hall. Stroll around the different areas of Jackson and look at the incredible and varied architecture. Get a different perspective on where you live, and you may just get a different perspective on your situation.

Things to Remember After a Devastating Break-Up

Wallowing doesn't help.

When the break-up happened, I wanted to crawl into a hole and stay there. Luckily, I had too many things to get done and other areas of my life to focus on. I never really gave myself a chance to wallow, which I'd say is the best thing I ever did. That's not to say that I didn't grieve.

Take the time to heal.

Let's be honest. Rebound relationships are bad for both parties. In retrospect, I'd say my relationship was probably doomed from the start because when we first started dating, I was essentially his rebound.

Remember to forgive yourself.

I admit that I probably aided in the demise of my relationship. I'm not a perfect person, and I did some things I'm not proud of. But the best thing I could do to finally start moving forward is to forgive myself and make an effort to address my issues.

You deserve better.

If you're the one who got dumped, I challenge you to remember that you deserve better. I knew that on the day my relationship ended, and I still believe it today. Everyone deserves better than someone who treats you like you're second best.