Jackson Free Press

Rev. Cletus: "This is your car-sales pastor broadcasting live from WGSR, Ghetto Science Radio, your friend at the end of the FM dial. I invited Earnest 'Monday Night Football Head' Walker, former third-string NFL player and owner of the beloved Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket, to be my special pre-holiday guest. Earnest and I are good friends who do not allow our conflicting opinions to hinder our respect for each other.

"I have noticed that my good friend has launched an anti-advertising campaign at Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket with the 'You Know the Routine Holiday Sale.' Earnest, do you really believe that the holidays are just a routine?"

Earnest "Monday Night Football Head" Walker: "Pastor, yearly, weekly, monthly and daily, it is the same game with the same thing. I am not inclined to advertise and hype this holiday season because folks know the routine. As a food and goods supplier for the community, the people know that around this time of the year, Pork-N-Piggly sells chitterlings, turkey, ham, Uncle Freddie's Spiked Eggnog, Miss Ann's Sugar-Free Fruit Cake and other items pertaining to the holiday season.

"As a businessperson, I know this is my last opportunity to make a profit for this year. I might sound a bit arrogant and sarcastic, but I, like my loyal customers who depend on my supermarket, know the routine. In the words of that great one-hit-wonder song, at Pork-N-Piggly Supermarkets, 'This is how we do it.'"

Rev. Cletus: "You just made us think, my brother. Happy holidays."