Jackson Free Press

We have one true purpose. It is to get as close as we can to completion before we terminate this earthly form we've been given. Regardless of what religion you've aligned yourself with or what terminology is used, ultimately, wholeness and completion is what we are aiming for, right?

We'd all like to get to a point where we have lived fully and happily. We all want to find true love, the kind that fills you up on the inside. We all want to do certain things that we've always dreamed of, correct? We all want to be whole. We want to have lived enough to not have any regrets at the end of our earthly journey.

So, then, why in the hell do so many people—women and men of every nationality—stay in relationships that not only don't fulfill them, but make them miserable?

Let me be more specific. I'm not talking about youthful experimentation. When you're under 30, you're still learning who you are, so mistakes will be bountiful. But after a certain age, there should come some understanding of self, at least to the point that we aren't repeating the same mistakes. We should, by then, recognize ourselves and know what makes us tick and tock. We should know what we can deal with and what we can't. We should at least be beginning to recognize what we need to be happy. Right? Or no?

I know people who have given up on their own happiness because they have found themselves in wedlock. Now, I am not a proponent of divorce. But I am a proponent of not getting married when you aren't happy to start with. Why would it get better? It is almost as certain as the sun shining that it will get worse.

Some get married to people they don't even like. I don't understand that for the life of me. Now, I do believe that great partnerships or friendships can grow into love and thus, love may not be present in the beginning but has room to form and blossom. But if you can't stand the sight of the person at all prior to marriage, in a year you'll hate him or her for sure.

Is having a wedding that serious? Is the pressure from the family enough to sacrifice your feelings? Is being pregnant enough reason to commit to a life with a person that you irresponsibly had unprotected sex with?

Life is a funny thing because it gets even more complicated.

Now, I understand that some people don't believe they are in positions to change or alter where they are in their lives. But what I find unsettling is working in a job for your entire life, possibly keeling over dead while doing said job and being completely unfulfilled the entire time.

What a waste that would be, right?

What if people were hired according to what they could actually contribute and what they enjoyed doing? What if managers took an extra minute to consider personalities instead of what's on resumes? I can't even tell you how many resumes I've seen that had no clear attachment to the name on the top of it. Come on, seriously, people have to be smarter than that.

I believe that we'd be a happier society if we all did things that made us feel good about being happy. Working jobs we don't like creates tension, anger and resentment. Unfortunately, people can't just leave because they don't like it. In fact, in many households, children (especially men) are taught that it doesn't matter if you like it or not, you must work. You must provide. So if that means working on an assembly line instead of running for city government, that's what you do.

I admire the free birds, as I call them. The people who truly have this life thing down are the ones who don't conform to what society says they should be. I commend those who follow their hearts and souls even if it means they might never be financially rich. They find wealth in things that are given to us as gifts. They enjoy things most people never give any attention to like a smile from a neighbor on a rough day; a beautiful melody that makes the angst of the day disappear; the warm, tingly sensation of sand.

Since all we know is that we won't live forever, it seems to me that we should take more care with the time we have here. Give thought to those things that make us happy and work toward them.

Unfortunately, parents, spouses, employees, coworkers and neighbors cannot take your spot when it's time to move on. So while you may love and care about them, ultimately your life, your happiness, your fulfillment has one authority—YOU.

Be happy.

Funmi "QueenFolayan" Franklin is a word lover, poet and advocate for sisterhood. She has a weakness for reality shows.