Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride; attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I; and guest peace officers Psychologist Judy McBride and Sister Encouragement, co-host of the Rev. Cletus Cars Sales Radio Broadcast. This is their story."

Dudley: "Cootie, why do we have this car bullhorn speaker on the roof of the Law-N-Order SUV?"

Cootie: "We're using this bullhorn system to help Psychologist Judy and Sister Encouragement with their P.T.E.S.D. Subliminal Mental Therapy Project."

Dudley: "OK."

Judy: "We want to provide auditory psychological and spiritual treatment to individuals affected by the recent presidential election."

Sister Encouragement: "Amen! Our objective is to help people suffering from Post Traumatic Election Stress Disorder, or P.T.E.S.D."

Dudley: "OK."

Cootie: "What do we have to lose? I think it is a great way to keep the peace and encourage proactive behavior in the community."

Judy: "We will drive throughout the Ghetto Science Community and play soothing and positive music with meaningful lyrics."

Sister Encouragement: "Judy, Cootie and I have put together wonderful playlist of songs to soothe the minds and souls of the people."

Dudley: "OK. We are the community's metal and spiritual deejays. What is the first song on the playlist?"

Sister Encouragement: We start our subliminal music mental therapy with 'Que Sera, Sera,' sung by Doris Day. Kick it!"

"Doink, doink!"