You Say ‘Riot,’ I Say ‘Uprising’
Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by members of the newly established Ghetto Science Community Peace Keeping Unit: police officer and part-time security guard at …
From Gaza to Ferguson
Miss Doodle Mae: "The staff of Jojo's Discount Dollar Store are very nervous, anxious and stressed out because the Internet, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, television, radio, newspapers and magazines constantly report …
Powerful Like Dynamite
Mr. Teacher: "Ms. Superintendent asked me to close this year's Cootie Creek County Schools Pre-Back to School Teacher Retreat with a brief motivational address. So, I want to share with …
A Little Help From Our Affluent Friends
Ike On A Bike: "For many years as owner and chief tour guide of Village Ghetto Land Urban Tours, Incorporated, I've witnessed the steady decline and neglect of the Ghetto …
Meeting of Great Minds
Big Roscoe: "Boneqweesha Jones, Little Momma Roscoe and I had a meeting of great minds during Hot Wing Happy Hour at Clubb Chicken Wing last week. We contemplated starting an …
It’s A Mean Old World
Mr. Solomon Davidson: "Little Scooby, It's a mean old world. One day, you will realize that most folk will not care how they will treat you. Just do the best …
Business
If You’re Buying Ice Cream, We’re Sellin’
Mister Ice Creamy Man: "Mrs. Ice Creamy Lady and I attended a very productive Ghetto Science Team Small Business and Mobile Vendor's Association Meeting today. The main purpose of the …
On Our Side of Town
"In the so-called real world, you will experience malicious attitudes from many corporations, business owners, and talk-radio hosts who believe people like you are just a bunch of inept savages …
Talkin’ Softly to Each Other
"After hearing the news about a racist rant from Donald Sterling, owner of the Los Angeles Clippers basketball team, Jojo called for an emergency meeting with the Jojo Discount Dollar …
The Bill Collector at the Door
BoneQweesha Jones: "You are watching the Ghetto Science Team Public Television spring fund-raising marathon. The federal government's budget cuts are kicking our butts at G.S.T. Public Television."
Singin’ the Inner-City Blues
"What is happening to inner-city people these days? I always believed that folk living in urban communities were strong enough to endure and overcome oppression. Now, It looks like the …
What It's Come To
Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo, our fearless leader, is an avid seeker of knowledge and understanding. His desire is to use helpful information to better serve his customers, staff and community."
Long and Winding Road
"Our last artist on the mic is the Unknown Satirical Poet who will address class tensions in America by sharing his altered version Paul McCartney's 'Long and Winding Road.'"
Everybody Plays the Fool
Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo, our fearless leader, sensed his discount dollar-store staff feeling hopeless and depressed. So he gave a very straightforward and passionate message during the morning staff meeting."
This Is Their Story
Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal-justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley …
Surviving Joblessness
"With support from the Ghetto Science Team's Save the Jobless, Broke and Frustrated Financial Safety Net Program, the Compensatory Investment Request Support Group will execute a series of self-help sessions …
Getting Creative with Kwanzaa
Boneqweesha Jones: "Greeting, television viewers. I'm your back-on-the-scene reporter coming to you live from Jojo's Discount Dollar Store."
Introducing ‘Broke Friday’
Smokey "Robinson" McBride: "A lot of my working-poor constituents were too broke to shop on Black Friday. They spent most of their time negotiating past-due payments with bill collectors and …
Business
‘Tis the Season to Hustle
Brother Hustle: "It's time for the Hustle family's Compensatory Investment Request Support Group Holiday Season New Entrepreneur Workshop at Clubb Chicken Wing's Multi-Complex. The objective is to help and encourage …
Squeaky Clean Chitterlings
"This Chitterling Season, Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket will make the holiday season affordable and educational for financially challenged customers. Along with lower prices on your favorite holiday foods, Pork-N-Piggly Supermarket will offer …
A Spooky, Scary Legend
Mr. Announcer: "Welcome to the Halloween edition of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' the longest-running soap opera on Ghetto Science Television."
Pimp Slapped and Car Jacked
Jojo: "The bad news is that some mean and callus politicians in Washington, D.C., will continue to pimp slap, car jack, hijack, beat down and humiliate the American people by …
Be Aware, Remain Safe
"It looks like this world we live in has revealed itself in the forms of turmoil, hatred and insanity."
The Money is Right
Rudy McBride: "Greetings to potential, new and existing customers of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank. Last week, I had an interesting conversation with Harris 'Stotle' Jenkins, resident …
If I Just Got a Job
"Recently, I discovered an alarming trend in the cost of obtaining a college or post-secondary education. All I know is that folk from places like the Ghetto Science Community cannot …
Affordable and Convenient
Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo has noticed a disturbing trend: Popular bookstores and coffee shops owned by big businesses have closed stores in urban areas where ethnic minorities live."
Ten Years On
This week, I have decided to write a guide to the Stiggers column instead of a satirical opinion regarding the George Zimmerman verdict. For now, I am not inclined to …
Getaway Weekend Bus Tour
Rev. Cletus: "Welcome to another wonderful and blessed Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church broadcast from WGSR FM, known affectionately as Ghetto Science Radio. This is your car sales pastor and …
Knowledge and Phone Tapping
Mr. Announcement: "On this episode of the award-winning daytime-television soap opera 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' Aunt Tee Tee Hustle, computer and electronics nerd, accidentally taps into an interesting phone …
Time and the Gulag
Big Larry Jones: "Broadcasting from the Ghetto Science Public Television studios, I'm Big Larry, Bonqweesha's favorite uncle, sitting in on 'Qweesha Live 2013.' My guest is Scooby 'Angry Black Man' …
At a Curbside Near You
Brother Hustle: "Aunt Tee Tee and I have been blessed with the positive attributes of initiative, discipline, and ambition to become successful in business, entrepreneurship, community activism and technology."
Survival of the Poorest
Mo'tel Williams: "Rich folk, corporations and the government want the poor to sacrifice more. For example, some politicians want poor workers to sacrifice their overtime pay."
Inebriated with Knowledge
Big Roscoe: "Customers, staff, Lil' Momma Roscoe and I enjoyed last week's Hot Wing Happy Hour at Clubb Chicken Wing. We had an around-the-bar discussion regarding history, politics, society, entertainment, …
Calming the Worried
"In times like these, I reflect on the many unfortunate events we have experienced over the last 50 years. The baby-boom generation should already know them."
Culture
Greed is Good
Boneqweesha Jones: "Welcome to the Ghetto Science Public Television premiere of 'Stuff That Matters.' Yes, I'm back on the scene like a record machine and ready to share and talk …
Get Your Ghetto Ring-Tone Cell Phone
Brother Hustle: "I want to use these remaining days of Women's History Month to honor Aunt Tee Tee Hustle and her Sequestration Survival and Affordable Technology Initiative."
Shop Until You Survive
Miss Doodle Mae: "Jojo and members of the Ghetto Science Economic Survival Commission want to help financially challenged customers deal with the sequestration budget cuts."
The Cutback Blues
Mr. Announcement: "On this edition of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes,' two Y'all Mart employees stumble upon a secret supervisors' meeting in the second, alternate Y'all Mart employee break room."
Creamy Black History
"Greetings, black history enthusiasts. This is my favorite time of the year because I get to become a spokesperson for black history in America."
Sour Lemons to Lemonade
Brother Hustle: "Welcome to the Compensatory Investment Request Support Group's first official meeting and session for 2013.
Well Informed and Educated
The faculty and staff at Hair Did University are committed to teaching students how to navigate around a system of spiritual and economic oppression.
'Keep on Pushing'
Big Roscoe: "Welcome to Clubb Chicken Wing's 'Day After New Year Hot Wing Happy Hour.' Regular customers returned here to wind down after partying New Year's Eve and day."
Prayer, Preparation and Patience
As we approach a new year preceded by events such as the Mayan prediction of end of the world, politicians arguing about the fiscal cliff, aftermath of a mall shooting, …
Triple-Duty Employee
Miss Doodle Mae: "Today, I celebrate my 8-year anniversary at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store."
Holiday Disco and Fundraiser
I understand that the government seems to be headed toward a financial cliff, but folk who are still jobless are right at the edge. I hope our elected officials will …
World Peace and Rent Money
Miss Doodle Mae: "During this time of uncertainty and anxiety, business activity at Jojo's Discount Dollar Store has been very steady.
Malarky Patty Melt
Chef Fat Meat: "Citizens of the Ghetto Science Community, this presidential election and the previous debates have inspired me to become even more politically active. Therefore, I am ready to …
Politics
Get This Party Started
It's time to convince and encourage our doubtful and cynical Ghetto Science Community members to move this nation forward through the power of 'One Person, One Vote.'
Right on the Edge
Welcome to the final round of the Open Air Cultural Theater Open Mic Poetry Showcase for the Unemployed.
Don't Take It Personal
Despite what other people do or say, I encourage you all to be strong and confident—like Gabby Douglas—during these trying times. Also, read, study and understand why the 'blues' are …
